He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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