So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
