Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
