My brain says no but my pants say off.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
