Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize