I didn't shave. On purpose
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
