help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
