You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Boobs are out for the taking
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
