That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
