Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
