We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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