gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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