around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
