I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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