It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize