Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
