i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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