It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
