I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
