He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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