Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize