I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
only you would photoshop your dick
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
