We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
