He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
