Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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