I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
