"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
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