Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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