he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Randomize
