smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
