Sry I called you an 8
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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