"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
