i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
