My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
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