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That's how twitter works, right?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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