Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
