I puked a lego.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
