i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
