butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
