he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
