Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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