Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
