break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
