im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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