Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize