I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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