allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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