Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
