i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
