Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
