It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
