How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
