Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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