My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
