You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
