I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
wanna go halves on a baby?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
