one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
foreskin is a definite game changer
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I enjoy the company of your penis
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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